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I'm pretty sure God created only 6 days, Monday was definitely made by Satan.
Being friends with co-workers is like having pet tigers...fun in theory but you still wonder when they will turn on you.
The workday always goes fast, when you show up late!
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I'll be out sick.
That moment when you have so much shit to do, that you decide to take a nap instead.
I'm too busy to tell people how busy I am.
Before you tell me what I did wrong, you should first know that I don't care.
If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you're already doing.
I started on a new diet… It’s called the I have $10 until Friday diet.
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