When Work Feels Overwhelming, Remember That You'r eCard

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Thanks for your concern, but no, I'm not sick, dying or sad. I just forgot to put eye makeup on this morning.
Being friends with co-workers is like having pet tigers...fun in theory but you still wonder when they will turn on you.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
I'm too busy to tell people how busy I am.
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I'll be out sick.
I started on a new diet… It’s called the I have $10 until Friday diet.
The sound of my co-worker eating is equivalent to gorillas giving birth to quintuplets
My job doesn't even pay me enough to afford drinks that will help me forget how much I hate my job.
I'm so bored at work, that I'm actually doing my job..
That moment when you have so much shit to do, that you decide to take a nap instead.