I'm Not Convinced We've Wasted Enough Time On Thi eCard

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Sure Boss, I will add that to the pile of shit I ain't going to do today!
The workday always goes fast, when you show up late!
I'm too busy to tell people how busy I am.
Before you tell me what I did wrong, you should first know that I don't care.
Sometimes I can't figure out if I'm in preschool or high school. Oh wait...I'm at work.
Thanks for your concern, but no, I'm not sick, dying or sad. I just forgot to put eye makeup on this morning.
I'd prefer a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices...with unlimited internet access, cupcakes and coffee.
Being friends with co-workers is like having pet tigers...fun in theory but you still wonder when they will turn on you.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I'll be out sick.