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I'd prefer a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices...with unlimited internet access, cupcakes and coffee.
The workday always goes fast, when you show up late!
Before you tell me what I did wrong, you should first know that I don't care.
Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you're already doing.
We have to play in the same sand box, so let's get along!
If it wasn't for someone like me, things would get done around here.
If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
My job doesn't even pay me enough to afford drinks that will help me forget how much I hate my job.
I'm so bored at work that I'm actually doing my job.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.