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Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of eternity.
Congratulations on probably not dying alone.
More Wedding planning? ...ain't nobody got time for that!
People say the secret to marriage is make sure you marry your best friend. Well, unfortunately I'm not a lesbian so you'll have to do.
Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again.
You're cordially invited to witness a large chunk of our parent's saving disappear in a five-hour time span.
I am not sure if a handful of Xanax counts as your "Something blue".
Did you hear scientist found a new food that decreases a women's sex drive by 95%? It's called a Wedding Cake
May your regrettable behavior this weekend occur primarily off-camera.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
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