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I'm so bored at work that I'm actually doing my job.
Thanks for your concern, but no, I'm not sick, dying or sad. I just forgot to put eye makeup on this morning.
I started on a new diet… It’s called the I have $10 until Friday diet.
I'm too busy to tell people how busy I am.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are supposed to be doing something else.
I'm pretty sure God created only 6 days, Monday was definitely made by Satan.
I’m exhausted after a long day of not giving a fuck.
Before you tell me what I did wrong, you should first know that I don't care.
I'd prefer a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices...with unlimited internet access, cupcakes and coffee.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
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