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If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
I drink coffee for your protection.
The 4th of July used to mean something. Now it's just a reminder for Walmart to put out Halloween decorations.
Happy birthday, America!! I was going to get you a gift, but I had no money left after taxes.
Happy Independence Day to all adults still living at home with their mother.
Let's take a break from complaining about America to celebrate America.
You can't fix stupid but you can watch it in action everyday at Parker Hannifin.
This July 4th, let's celebrate our freedom to be trapped for five hours in horrifying standstill traffic.
When I go to Blanchette's wall, I fully expect train wrecks. They're my favorite!
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