Before You Tell Me What I Did Wrong, You Should eCard

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I’m exhausted after a long day of not giving a fuck.
I'm pretty sure God created only 6 days, Monday was definitely made by Satan.
I'm too busy to tell people how busy I am.
Thanks for your concern, but no, I'm not sick, dying or sad. I just forgot to put eye makeup on this morning.
My job doesn't even pay me enough to afford drinks that will help me forget how much I hate my job.
Being friends with co-workers is like having pet tigers...fun in theory but you still wonder when they will turn on you.
I started on a new diet… It’s called the I have $10 until Friday diet.
When work feels overwhelming, remember that you're going to die.
I hate mornings. And Mondays. And working. But other than that I'm entirely happy
I'd prefer a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices...with unlimited internet access, cupcakes and coffee.