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What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
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Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
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Coffee... The old school Energy Drink
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I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
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She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
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Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
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I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
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This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
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Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
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Warning: I'm in Bitch Mode and I can't be responsible for what happens today.
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Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
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I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
Water is so good when it’s mixed with barley, hops, and yeast.
This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off