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I'd rather have you stare at my boobs than at your phone on our date.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
Today I decided to just not give a fuck. And if you see me tomorrow, It will be the same.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
I wanted to be you for Halloween but the store already sold out of giant douchebag costumes!
Warning: I'm in Bitch Mode and I can't be responsible for what happens today.
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
Thanks for texting me after the hurricane to see if I died.