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The sound of my co-worker eating is equivalent to gorillas giving birth to quintuplets
This could be my medication talking but im feeling good
Where should we drink lunch today?
Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
YOU + ME ====>
I love you and your sexy ass
I'm playing it safe this year. I'm marinating the Turkey in vodka, making vodka cranberries, vodka stuffing and a jello shots for dessert. That s...
You know it's over when I don't even want you when I'm drunk!
Punxsutawney Phil can kiss my ass.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!