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Don't underestimate me darling, I can go from Lady to Ghetto in 2.5 seconds.
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If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
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Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
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Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
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May your finals be as easy as you are.
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Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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My condolences on losing your balls.
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I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
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Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
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I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
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I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
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Don't underestimate me darling, I can go from Lady to Ghetto in 2.5 seconds.
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
Irish coffee contains sugar, caffeine, fat and alcohol. Perfect for breakfast!
When I go to Blanchette's wall, I fully expect train wrecks. They're my favorite!
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
Happy Valentine's Day Maaa!
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
My friends are the kind of people that would flirt with the firemen while my house was burning down.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.