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Don't underestimate me darling, I can go from Lady to Ghetto in 2.5 seconds.
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If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
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Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
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Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
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May your finals be as easy as you are.
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Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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My condolences on losing your balls.
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Googling your symptoms when you don't feel well is the most efficient way to convince yourself you're dying.
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I’m exhausted after a long day of not giving a fuck.
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When I kill a spider, I don't clean it up, I leave it there so the rest know not to fuck with me.
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All this bullshit made me strong motherfucker.
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  • Let's see... hmmmm... yep, just as I suspected... you're full of SHIT!!
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