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The workday always goes fast, when you show up late!
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I'll be out sick.
I'm pretty sure God created only 6 days, Monday was definitely made by Satan.
I'm so bored at work that I'm actually doing my job.
Sometimes I can't figure out if I'm in preschool or high school. Oh wait...I'm at work.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you're already doing.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are supposed to be doing something else.
Being friends with co-workers is like having pet tigers...fun in theory but you still wonder when they will turn on you.
I'd prefer a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices...with unlimited internet access, cupcakes and coffee.
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