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I've reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
When I kill a spider, I don't clean it up, I leave it there so the rest know not to fuck with me.
I already know I'm going to hell... At this point it's really go big or go home.
It's always better to top off on muffin tits. Never on muffin tops.
Tip: Someone who really loves and cares for you, will not isolate you from your family and friends.
Let’s not put a label on what we’re doing, let’s just say it works until we both find someone better.
Facebook is great for reminders! Every day it reminds of why I don't like people.
I hate to spend money on shoes and purses, but the economy needs me.
If woman is bad in parking, it's only because she is constantly lied about what 8 inched is.
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