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Thanks for not ditching me in a dumpster.
All moms gave birth to a child except my mom. She gave birth to a legend.
MOTHERHOOD ... Powered by LOVE Fueled by COFFEE!!
Thanks for not leaving me on someone's doorstep. Happy Mother's Day.
We all know I'm your favorite child. Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day to all my bitches.
Dear Mom, I'm sorry about the stretch marks. Happy Mother's Day!
Treat mom to a margarita this mother's day! Remember, you're the reason she drinks.
Mom, thanks for not being famous enough to adopt a black baby instead of me.
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