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May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
There is no magic pill. No special shake. No secret diet. Just get off your ass.
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
Happy birthday to someone smart gorgeous, funny & kinda reminds me of myself!! From one fabulous bitch to another!!
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
I wish you were here. Instead of me.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
Every time I see a cute kid, I remind my self how awesome it is to sleep through the night.
Nothing says I LOVE YOU more, than a variety box of prescription drugs.