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If you knew how much I've been thinking about you, you wouldn't be talking to me right now.
I don't believe anything I read on Facebook, including my own status updates.
I can't stop drinking about you.
I wish you were here. Instead of me.
I shaved for our date and I'm hoping that you did too...
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile
I am just going to keep calling and texting you until you under- stand how normal I am.
Nothing that Facebook changes will ever keep me from stalking you.
The only acceptable place to smack a lady is her ass.
I wish you weren't here.
