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You know it's over when I don't even want you when I'm drunk!
Know how I know I like you? When I think about you I get all tingly in my special place.
Did you hear scientist found a new food that decreases a women's sex drive by 95%? It's called a Wedding Cake
I wish you were here. Instead of me.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
Oh, Gothenburg is going to be lovely! Just what I need right now ;)
Nothing says the "true meaning of Christmas" like scaring your kids into being good with a creepy Elf on the Shelf.
When I go to Blanchette's wall, I fully expect train wrecks. They're my favorite!
Save a turkey. Stuff a mother-in-law.