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Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
Thanksgiving makes me grateful Thanksgiving is almost over.
Sorry you can't sleep! Thinking of you and hoping the next time you're awake at 2 am, it's for the right reasons...
We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a mara...
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer whatever the fuck you're buying.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile
I hope you step on a lego, bitch!
Than God our Founding Fathers didn't decide to declare independence in winter.
Happy Birthday Joe!