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I am currently in the planning stages of a hangover.
My job doesn't even pay me enough to afford drinks that will help me forget how much I hate my job.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the person is a complete idiot.
I'd do anything to lose 101lbs, except eat healthy and work out.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
MOTHERHOOD ... Powered by LOVE Fueled by COFFEE!!
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Save a turkey. Stuff a mother-in-law.
Call me when you quit dieting.
You know it's over when I don't even want you when I'm drunk!