I Am Not A Complete Idiot!!! There Is A Few Parts eCard

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This could be my medication talking but im feeling good
Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No... wait... It's just that flying fuck I don't give.
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.