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Punxsutawney Phil can kiss my ass.
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I'll be out sick.
Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again.
I wont cry for you, my mascara's too expensive.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
I already know I'm going to hell... At this point it's really go big or go home.
I just want to cuddle and watch Disney movies with you!
When I kill a spider, I don't clean it up, I leave it there so the rest know not to fuck with me.
I didn’t invent the word Bitch, I just perfected it.
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