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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
Nothing is happiness like scoring front row tix to your fav band
The sound of my co-worker eating is equivalent to gorillas giving birth to quintuplets
I think we need some time away from each other forever.
I am so in L-word with you.
I'm so bored at work, that I'm actually doing my job..
I'll have you know, I want to kiss your lips, and at the same time I'd like to punch you in the face for even considering hurting me.
Happy birthday, America!! I was going to get you a gift, but I had no money left after taxes.
Happy Thanksgiving to someone as ungrateful as me.
Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
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