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Please stop wishing upon me...I'm a different kind of star
Life is too short to date a douche bag.
Out for a ride today. Who is in?
Did you hear scientist found a new food that decreases a women's sex drive by 95%? It's called a Wedding Cake
If woman speaks and no one is listening her name is probably mom.
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Anyone can be cool, but awesomeness takes practice
My friends are the kind of people that would flirt with the firemen while my house was burning down.
I scored 400 on Flappy Bird, should I put this achievement on my CV ?
Tip: Someone who really loves and cares for you, will not isolate you from your family and friends.