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I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
I didn’t invent the word Bitch, I just perfected it.
My New Year's resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic... Like I won't screw that up right away.
I'd do anything to lose 101lbs, except eat healthy and work out.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
Tip: Someone who really loves and cares for you, will not isolate you from your family and friends.
I am not a complete idiot!!! There is a few parts missing.
Men say a women's place is in the kitchen, just remember, that's where all the knives are.